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A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family,
so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call
her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people.
The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the
Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to
bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He
finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents'
room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's
room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the
nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his
father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good
son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the
Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."


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A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was a lot more
traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt.
He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong. The cop
said, "Man we are in a crisis situation. Mr. Clinton is in the road very upset. He does
not have the $33.5 million that he owes his lawyers, and his family hates him. He is
threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire." The marine asked the cop
exactly what he was doing there." The cop said, " I feel sorry for the president so I am
going car to car asking for donations." The marine asked, "How much do you have so far?"
The cop replied, "Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are still
siphoning as we speak!"




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One day about a month ago, Bill Clinton was looking for a call girl. He found three such
ladies in a local lounge---a blonde , a brunette , and a redhead. To the blonde he said ,
"I am the president of the united states. How much would it cost me to spend some time
with you?" The blonde replied, "Two hundred dollars." To the brunette he posed the same
question , and she replied, "One hundred dollars. "He then asked the redhead the same
question. The redhead replied, "Mr. President , if you can raise my skirt as high as my
taxes.... Get my panties as low as my wages...get that thing of yours as hard as the
times... Keep it high as the gas prices...keep me warmer than my apartment...and...screw
me in private the way you do in public, then believe me Mr. President , it ain't gonna
cost you a cent."




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At a meeting for peace negotiations Bill Clinton and Sadamm Hussein were in Baghdad and
when bill sat down in the conference room he noticed Saddamm with three buttons on the arm
of his chair. after a few minutes Sadamm pressed the first button and a boxing glove
sprung up and hit Bill square in the jaw. In the spirit of peace Bill decided to ignore
this and continued talking until sadamm pressed the second button and a wooden bat swung
out and hill Bill in the chin. Sadamm started laughing. But again Bill ignored this and
continued . A minute later Bill saw Sadamm press the third button and he jumped in the
air. But a big boot sprung out and hit him in the balls. Bill had decided he had enough of
this and when back home.

Three weeks later the peace negotiations were re-scheduled in Washington and as Sadamm sat
down in Bills conference room he noticed Bill had three buttons on the arm of his chair. A
little while after they started talking Bill pressed the first button but nothing
happened, Bill started giggling. They continued to talk then Bill pressed the second
button, Sadamm moved but again nothing happened. Sadamm was getting a little jumpy and
Bill was laughing even harder. A few minutes later Bill pressed the third button and
stared pissing himself but like the others nothing happened. Sadamm had enough of this,
stood up and said "That's it! I'm going back to Baghdad!" , to which Bill replied "What
Baghdad?"




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