The blonde had been married about a year when one day the she came running up to her husband jumping for joy. Not knowing how to react, the husband started jumping up and down along with her. "Why are we so happy?" he asked. She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" "Great" he said, "tell me what you're so happy about." She stopped breathless from all the jumping up and down. "I'm pregnant!" she gasped. The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for a while. He grabbed her, kissed her, and started telling her how wonderful it was, and that he couldn't be happier. Then she said, "Oh, honey there's more." "What do you mean more?", he asked. "Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew. "It was easy," she said, "I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead enter an elevator. As they walk in they notice a small puddle of white liquid on the floor of the elevator car. The brunette bends down for a closer look, and states, very matter of factly," It looks like cum." The redhead stoops down a little closer, takes a deep breath through her nose, and proclaims "Yes, and it smells like cum" The blonde stoops down yet closer, puts the tip of her finger into the puddle, touches it to her tongue and exclaims, "Well, it's nobody from our building." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A blonde named Anna had a near death experience the other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager happened to walk by and unplugged it. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. The blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half and hour. But, she says, I am rechecking my answers." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.