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Q: Why does Mexico never win any medals in the Olympics?
A: Because all of the Mexicans who can run, jump, and
swim are already in the U.S.




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Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Because the zippers scare the sheep.



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After the baby was born, the panicked
Japanese father went to see the obstetrician.
"Doctor," he said, "I don't mind telling you,
but I'm a little upset because my daughter
has red hair. She can't possibly be mine."
"Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though
you and your wife both have black hair,
one of your ancestors may have contributed
red hair to the gene pool."
"It isn't possible," the man insisted.
"We're pure Asian."
"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this.
How often do you have sex?"
The man seemed ashamed.
"I've been working very hard
for the past year. We only made love once
or twice a month."
"There you have it!" the doctor said confidently.
"It's just rust."


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Three friends decided to visit a prostitute : a whit
e guy, a black guy, and a Jew. It was a slow night,
So she gave the guys a deal.
"You can pay $10 an inch."
When the white man comes back out his friends ask:
"How much did she charge you?"
"$65 dollars," said the first.
The black guy goes in and returns with a fee of $95.
The first two were proud of their prowess. The third
man goes in and returns,
"How much did she charge you?" ask the first two :
"20 dollars", replies the Jew.
The first two start laughing hysterically.
"Hey guys," replied the third,
"I'm not so stupid, I paid on the way out."


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