A woman went to an attorney to ask about a divorce.
Attorney: "What grounds do you have, ma'm?"
Woman: "About six acres."
Attorney: "No, I don't think you quite understand.
Let me rephrase the question. do you have a grudge?"
Woman: "No, just a parking space."
Attorney: "I'll try again. does your husband beat you?"
Woman: "No, I always get up at least an hour before
he does."
Attorney: "Madam, are you sure you want a divorce?"
Woman: "I'm not the one who wants a divorce,
My husband does. He claims we don't communicate."
Mrs. Wilson appeared before the judge in a divorce action.
Judge: "How old are you?".
Mrs. Wilson: "Thirty-five,".
Judge: "May I see your birth certificate?"
She handed the judge her birth certificate.
Judge: "According to this certificate you are not 35 but 55."
Mrs. Wilson: "Your honor, the last 20 years I spent
with my husband. You call that a life?"
