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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,
and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?


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John: "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
Wife: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."


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The jury selection process.
George was called for his question session.
Judge: "Property holder?"
George: "Yes, I am, Your Honor."
Judge: "Married or single?"
George: "Married for twenty years, Your Honor."
Judge: "Formed or expressed an opinion?"
George: "Not in twenty years, Your Honor."


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A cowboy rides into town and stops at the saloon,
gets off his horse walks around to the back of it,
lifts up the tail and kisses it smack on the ass.
The bartender inside the bar notices this transaction.
Bartender: "I noticed when you got off your horse you
walked behind it and kissed it on the ass. Can I ask why?"
Cowboy: "Chapped lips".
Bartender: "Wow! It cures chapped lips?"
Cowboy: "No, but it sure as hell keeps you from
licking them."


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