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John finds an empty bottle which he picks up and rubs.
Sure enough, a genie appears and offers the man two wishes.
John: "I wish I were always hard, and could get all
the ass I wanted".
Genie: "Whatever turns you on,"
And turns John into a toilet seat.


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Q: Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

A: Everyone has the same DNA.



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Father of five children had won a toy at a raffle.
He called his kids together to ask which one should
have the present.
Father: "Who is the most obedient?, who never talks back
to mother?, who does everything she says?"
Children: "Okay, daddy, you get the toy."



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Upon entering the little store,
George notices a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!".
Inside he noticed a harmless old dog asleep.
George: "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
Store manager: "Yep, that's him,".
George: "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous
dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
Store manager: "Because, before I posted that sign,
people kept tripping over him."


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