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A man and a small boy entered a barbershop together.
After the man received a shave and a haircut,
he lifted the boy into the chair.
"I'll be right back," the man said.
"I'm just going to run to the store to buy a green
tie to wear to the parade."
By the time the barber had finished the boy's haircut,
the man still hadn't returned.
"Looks like your daddy has gone and forgotten
all about you," the barber said.
"Oh, that wasn't my daddy," replied the boy.
"He just walked up to me, took me by the hand
and said we were going to get free haircuts."



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A man and his wife are driving down the highway.
Wife: "I want a divorce. I've been having an affair
with your best friend for two years now. I want the kids,
the house, the car, the boat, all the money.
Is there anything you want?"
Man: "No, that's alright, I've got the airbag."
(as he slams on the accelerator towards a concrete
pole in the median of the road.)





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Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy?

A: Two Mothers-In-Law.



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Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down
his fathers Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didnt punish him ? "

Johnny: " Because George still had the axe in his hand. "



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