A man and his wife are driving down the highway.
Wife: "I want a divorce. I've been having an affair
with your best friend for two years now. I want the kids,
the house, the car, the boat, all the money.
Is there anything you want?"
Man: "No, that's alright, I've got the airbag."
(as he slams on the accelerator towards a concrete
pole in the median of the road.)
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Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
A: Two Mothers-In-Law.
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Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down
his father’s Cherry ýtree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn’t ýpunish him ? "
ý
Johnny: " Because George still had the axe in his hand. "ý
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When a man's wife went into labor, he immediately
dialed 911 in a panic.
Man:ý "Help! My wife is having a baby.
Her ýcontractions are only two minutes apart. What do I do?"
ýDispatcher: "Calm down, Is this her first child?"
ýMan: "NO!, this is her husband!"ý
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