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In the park there were two statues.
One day God said to the statues: "you have
ten minutes to do anything you want".
So one statue said to the other: "hold the bird down
while I shit on his head"


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A woman walked up to a little old man rocking
in a chair on his porch.
Woman: "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look."
"What's your secret to a long, happy life?"
Man: "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,
and I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods,
and never exercise."
Woman: "That's amazing, how old are you?'
Man: "Twenty-six,"



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Q: How do you repair your wifes' watch?

A: There's no need tothere's a clock on the stove.



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Q: What does Kodak film and a condom have in common ?

A: They both capture that special moment.


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