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Q: What is the most effective way to remember
your wife's birthday?

A: To forget it once.


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"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green,
Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's Not Unusual."


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you are so stupid that you triped over a cordless phone.



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One day, Jhonny was talking to God.
Jhonny: "What's a thousand years like to you, God?"
God: "Like a second,"
Johnny: "What's a million dollars like to you, God?".
God: "Like a penny, Johnny,".
Johnny: "Hey, God, can I borrow a penny?"
God: "Sure, hold on a



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