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Wife: Dear, this afternoon the big clock fell off
the wall. Had it fallen a moment sooner,
my mother would have been hit badly.

Husband : Oh, damn clock! It's always late.



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Johnny: "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

Father: "I dont know, son, Im still paying for it."



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Wife: "Darling, its my mothers birthday tomorrow.
What shall we buy for her?
She would like something electric."

Husband:"How about a chair?!?"



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Patient: Doctor, you have to help me!
People always ignore me!

Doctor: Next...



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