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Doctor: I have good news and bad news.

John: "What's the good news doc?"

Dictor: "The good news is, you have
24 hours to live,"
John: "What! That's the good news?
What's the bad news?"
John: "The bad news is,
I forgot to call you yesterday!"



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A man and a woman who have never met before
find themselves in the same sleeping
carriage of a train.
In the middle of the night the man leans over
and says, "I'm sorry to bother you,
but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering
if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye,
says, "I've got a better idea... let's pretend
we're married."
"Why not," giggles the man.
"Good! Now go get your own darn blanket then, honey!"



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Q: How do men define marriage?

A: A very expensive way to get
your laundry done for free.



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Jim walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of soap,1 toothbrush,1 loaf of bread,
1 pint of milk,1 frozen dinner.
Cashier: "You must be single!"
Jim:(sarcastically): "Gee, how did you guess?"
Cashier: "You're really ugly!!!"



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