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An old lady came up to me on the street and said.
'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?'.
I replied in a psychotic tone,
'there were witnesses???.
Now I'll have to kill you too!




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Q: What's the difference between a dead lawyer
in the road and a dead racoon in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the racoon



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Q: I'm almost three months pregnant.
When will my baby move?

A: If you lucky, right after he finishes college.



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Q: Why skeleton can't cross the road?

A: Because he has no guts!



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