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Q: I'm almost three months pregnant.
When will my baby move?

A: If you lucky, right after he finishes college.



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Q: Why skeleton can't cross the road?

A: Because he has no guts!



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A police officer stops a lady
and asks for her license. He says,
"Lady, according to the license you should
be wearing glasses."
The lady answered, "I have contacts."
The policeman replied, "I don't care who you know!
You're getting a ticket!!!"



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A six year old boy goes to the hospital
with his grandmother to visit his grandfather.
When they arrive, Danny runs ahead of his granny,
and bursts into his grandfather's room.
"Grandpa", Danny says, "As soon as Grandma comes
into the room, pretend that you are a frog,"
"What for?" asked his Grandpa.
"Grandma said that as soon as you croak,
we're going to Disney Land"



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