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Q: What's the difference between a dead lawyer
in the road and a dead racoon in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the racoon



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Q: I'm almost three months pregnant.
When will my baby move?

A: If you lucky, right after he finishes college.



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Q: Why skeleton can't cross the road?

A: Because he has no guts!



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A police officer stops a lady
and asks for her license. He says,
"Lady, according to the license you should
be wearing glasses."
The lady answered, "I have contacts."
The policeman replied, "I don't care who you know!
You're getting a ticket!!!"



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