George (Strongest man in the world), placed a standing $1000 bet: He would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice would win the money. Many people had tried over time but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down George grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But George's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and seven drops fell into the glass. Embarrassed George payed the $1000, and asked the little man, "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or what?" The man replied," I work for the IRS." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 18 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard. "Are you the manager?" she asks, softly caressing his face with both hands. "Actually, no" he replies. "Can you get him for me?" she says, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't" mumbles the barman. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes there is. I need you to pass him a message" she continues huskily, sticking a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 8 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. George and his wife are going to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone, and says: "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die." "Every morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly...make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, George asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "You're going to die," she replied. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 11 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A little boy and his father are standing in line at the grocery store behind a very fat lady. The little boy says, "Hey dad, look how fat that lady is!" "Shhh, don't say that son, it's not nice!" "But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!" "Shh, quiet son, she'll hear you," the father says. "But dad, LOOK HOW BIG AND FAT THAT LADY IS!" "Shhh, don't say that son, it's not nice and it's rude!" Suddenly the fat lady's beeper goes on. "LOOK OUT DAD, SHE'S BACKING UP!" the son screams Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 11 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.