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An 80 year old man has a Doctor checkup and the doctor is surrprized by his condition/
Doctor: How do you keep so fit and healthy?
Old man: I get up every day and run after wild goos.
Doctor: It can't be the only reason for you health. tell me , what age did your father
die?
Old man: he did not die , he is 99 and as healthy as me.in fact only this morning he came
running after the wild goos with me.
Doctor:I find it hard to belive , tell me what age did your grandfather die?
Old man:
who told you he died? is turned 118 2 days ago and feels as young as ever. In fact he is
about to get married next week.
Doctor:I can't understand it , tell me why would he ask to get married at 118?
Old man: he is not interested in her at all but you know the parents are putting so much
pressure on him...


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A pissed off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the pub, so
one night he took her along.

"What'll ya have?" he asked.

"Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied.

So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one go. His wife
watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.

"Yuck, it's nasty poison!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"

"Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every
night!"



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Men are just like:

Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Handguns.
Keep one around long enough, and you're going to want to shoot it.



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Woman's opinion on you:
I am doing my best to imagine you with a personality.



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