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A pissed off wife was complaining about her husband spending all his time at the pub, so
one night he took her along.

"What'll ya have?" he asked.

"Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied.

So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one go. His wife
watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.

"Yuck, it's nasty poison!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"

"Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every
night!"



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Men are just like:

Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.

Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Bank accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

Handguns.
Keep one around long enough, and you're going to want to shoot it.



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Woman's opinion on you:
I am doing my best to imagine you with a personality.



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Woman's advice:
See no evil, hear no evil, and date no evil.




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