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Q:Why do men have to flex their muscles around
women so much?
A:Because they have nothing else to brag about.


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So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what
you are asking for. There are 365 days per year
available for work. There are 52 weeks per year
in which you already have 2 days off per week,
leaving 261 days available for work. Since you
spend 16 hours each day away fron work, you have
used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.
You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which
counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days
available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used
up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available
for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on
sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year
available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year,
so your available working time is down to 15 days.
We generously give 14 days vacation per year which
leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be
damned if you are going to take that day off!


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A gay man is driving down the road in the middle
of the desert. He notices a run down bar and stops
for a drink. He walks in and asks for a beer. The
bartender told him to leave, that he would scare
the customers away. The gay man finnaly convices
the bartender, but was told to sit in the corner,
drink his drink and leave. The guy got the drink
and sat down. About 5 minutes later, a big burly
truck driver comes through the door.
He said "Man I am so thristy, I could lick the sweat
off a bull's balls!"
Suddenly the gay man jumped up and said "Moo, Moo,
Buckaroo!"


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I think my wife is selling drugs! Yesterday I was
running a little bit late for work and the phone rang.
I answered it. Before I could say anything a male
voice on the line said, Hey honey is that DOPE gone yet?


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