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A guy walks into a doctor's office with a lettuce
leaf sticking out of his ass.
Doctor says, "Hmmmm, that's strange."
The guy replies, "That's just the tip of the iceberg."


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Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bacon!


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There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator.
On their way down, they stop to pick up another
person also on their way down. When the person got
on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute.
Unfortunately he had dandruff. Finally, on the
way off of the elevator the two girls let the guy
go ahead of them. The brunette turns to the blonde
and says "Oh my god! We need to give him Head and
Shoulders."
The blonde then replies "That's a pretty good idea,
but how are we going to give him shoulders?"


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Little Johnny came home from school with a note
from his teacher saying that Johnny was having
trouble telling the difference between boys and
girls, and would his mother please sit down and
have a talk with Johnny about this. So Johnny's
mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to
her bedroom, and closes the door.
"First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse",
she said, so Johnny unbuttons her blouse and takes
it off.
"O.K., now take off my skirt", and he takes off
her skirt.
"Now take off my bra", which he does.
"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties".
Johnny finishes removing these too.
His mother then says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear
any of my clothes to school anymore!"


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