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A man at a nursing home took Viagra and went to the lunch room,
where the residents were playing Bingo. To get their attention
he yelled out, "SUPER SEX!, Super Sex!"
The ladies yelled back: "I want the SOUP!", "Soup, Please."
"Oh, I'd love some soup!"


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A few days before his proctological examination, Mr Smith
a one-eyed gentleman accidentally swallows his glass eye.
He is worried for a while, but there are no ill effects
and he soon forgets about it.
Once he gets to the doctor's office, Mr Smith follows the
doctors instructions, gets undressed and bends over. The
first thing the doctor sees when he looks up the mans bum
is the glass eye staring right back at him!
After collecting his composure the doctor turns and says
to the man "You know Mr Smith, you really have to learn to
trust me."


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There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are
talking about the amount of control they have over their
wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one
of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what
about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night
my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked.
"She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."


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Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.


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