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A man wants to celebrate his wife's birthday by
throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday
cake. The salesman asks him what message he
wants to put on the cake.
"Well," he thinks for a while, and says "let's
put 'You are not getting older, you are getting
better'".
The salesman asks "How do you want me to put it?"
The man says, "Well put 'You are not getting older'
at the top and 'You are getting better' at the
bottom."
The real fun didn't start until the cake box was
opened and the entire party watched the message
decorated on the cake "You are not getting older
at the top. You are getting better at the bottom!"


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Ramona lost both ears in an accident.
No plastic surgeon could offer her a
solution. She heard of a very good one
in Mumbai, and went to him. The new
surgeon examined her, thought a while,
and said, "Yes, I can put you right."
After the operation, bandages off,
stitches out, she goes to her hotel.
The morning after, in a rage, she
calls her surgeon, and yells, "You
bastard, you gave me a man`s ears."
"Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no
difference whether it is a man`s or
a woman`s."
"You`re wrong, I hear everything,
but I don`t understand a thing!"


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Three women were sitting around talking about
their husbands performance as a lover.
The first woman says "My husband works as a
marriage counsellor. He always buys me flowers
and candy before we make love. I like that."
The second woman says "My husband is a motorcycle
mechanic. He likes to play rough and slap me
around sometimes. I kinda like that."
The third woman just shakes her head and says
"My husband works for Microsoft. He just sits
on the edge of the bed and tells me how great
it's going to be when I get it."


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"How did it happen?" the doctor asked Jesse
as he set his broken leg.
"Well, doctor, 15 years ago..."
"Never mind the past! Tell me how you broke
your leg this morning."
"Like I was saying... 15 years ago, when I
first started working on the farm, that night,
right after I`d gone to bed, the farmer`s
beautiful daughter came into my room. She
asked me if there was anything I wanted.
I said, "No, everything is fine."
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"I`m sure," I said.
"Isn`t there anything I can do for you???"
she wanted to know.
"I reckon not," I replied.
"Excuse me," said the doctor, "What the hell
does this story have to do with your broken leg?!"
"Well, this morning," Jesse explained,
"when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell
off the roof!"


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