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Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.
He has two large bags over his shoulders. A guard
stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off
the bike."
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he
empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed,
only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand
in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand
into new bags, lifts them onto the man's shoulders
and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks,
"What have you got?"
"Sand," says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers
that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the
sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his
bicycle.
This sequence of events repeats every day for three
years. Then one day, Juan doesn't show up. The guard
meets up with him in a cantina in Mexico.
"Hey, buddy," the guard says, "I know you're smuggling
something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think
about. I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what
are you smuggling?"
"Bicycles," Juan says.


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A lawyer is questioning a doctor on whether or not
he took the proper steps befor signing a deceased
client's death certificate.
"Did you check the man's pulse?" asked the lawyer.
"No." said the doctor
"Did you check for any other signs that might
indicate my client might still be alive?"
"No." said the doctor.
"So you admit that you did not follow the proper
steps befor signing the death certificate."
"Well," the doctor explained," I'll put it to you
this way. The man's brain was in a jar on my desk,
but for all we know he could be out practicing law
somewhere."


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Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside"
sticker they put on Pentiums?
A: The warning label.


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Getting away from their high-stress jobs,
a couple spends relaxing weekends in their
motor home. When they found their peace
and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but
unwelcome, visits from other campers, they
devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy.
Now, when they set up camp, they place this
sign on the door of their RV: "Insurance
agent. Ask about our term-life package."


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