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A father is in church with three of his young
children, including his five year old daughter.
As was customary, he sat in the very front row
so that the children could properly witness
the service. During this particular service,
the minister was performing the baptism of a
tiny infant. The little five year old girl was
taken by this, observing that he was saying
something and pouring water over the infant's head.
With a quizzical look on her face, the little
girl turned to her father and asked: "Daddy,
why is he brainwashing that baby?"


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Q: Why do men have to flex their muscles around
women so much?
A: Because they have nothing else to brag about.


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A minister was feeling bored one Sunday and
decided to take the day off from church. He
told the assistant minister he wasn't feeling
well and drove off. He stopped at a golf course
about forty miles away (so that no one would
know him.)
Up in Heaven, the angels were talking. One
said to Jesus, "Are you going to let him get
away with that?"
Jesus said, "No, I won't."
The minister teed off on the first hole and
suddenly, the wind picked up, blowing the ball
right in the hole for a 420 yard hole-in-one.
The angel looked at Jesus and said, "Why did
you do that?"
Jesus smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"


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Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.
He has two large bags over his shoulders. A guard
stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off
the bike."
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he
empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed,
only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand
in the bags. The guard releases Juan, puts the sand
into new bags, lifts them onto the man's shoulders
and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks,
"What have you got?"
"Sand," says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers
that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the
sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his
bicycle.
This sequence of events repeats every day for three
years. Then one day, Juan doesn't show up. The guard
meets up with him in a cantina in Mexico.
"Hey, buddy," the guard says, "I know you're smuggling
something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think
about. I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what
are you smuggling?"
"Bicycles," Juan says.


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