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Dan took his blind date to the carnival.
"What would you like to do first, Anna?"
asked Dan.
"I want to get weighed," replied Anna.
They ambled over to the weight guesser.
He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the
scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel.
When the ride was over, Dan again asked
Anna what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went.
Since they had been there before, he
guessed her correct weight, and Dan lost
his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and
again he asked where to next. "I want to
get weighed," Anna responded.
By this time, Dan figured that she was really
weird and took her home early, dropping her
off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind
date, "How did it go?"
Anna responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy."


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Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly,
and eager to do things right. Unfortunately,
he wasn't especially bright. He had just
started his first job, as a delivery boy
and general go-fer at a furniture warehouse.
His first task was to go out for coffee.
He walked into a nearby coffee shop carrying
a large thermos. When the counterman finally
noticed him, he held up the thermos.
"Is this big enough to hold six cups of
coffee?" he said. The counterman looked at
the thermos, hesitated for a few seconds,
then finally said, "Yeah. It looks like about
six cups to me."
"Good," Freddie said. "Give me two regular,
two black, and two decaf."


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Three weeks after her wedding day, Amber called
her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "Jese and
I had a DREADFUL fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's
not half as bad as you think. Every marriage
has to have its first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Amber. "But what am I going
to do with the body?"


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There was a pilot flying a small single
engine charter plane, with a couple
of very important executives on board.
He was coming into Seattle airport
through thick fog with less than 10m
visibility when his instruments went out.
So he began circling around looking
for landmark.
After an hour or so, he starts running
pretty low on fuel and the passengers
are getting very nervous. Finally, a
small opening in the fog appears and
he sees a tall building with one guy
working alone on the fifth floor.
The pilot banks the plane around, rolls
down the window and shouts to the guy
"Hey, where am I? To this, the solitary
office worker replies "You're in a plane."
The pilot rolls up the window, executes
a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute
a perfect blind landing on the runway
of the airport 5 miles away. Just as
the plane stops, so does the engine as
the fuel has run out.
The passengers are amazed and one asks
how he did it. "Simple" replies the pilot,
"I asked the guy in that building a
simple question. The answer he gave me
was 100 percent correct but absolutely
useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's
support office and from there the airport
is just a while away."


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