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There was a pilot flying a small single
engine charter plane, with a couple
of very important executives on board.
He was coming into Seattle airport
through thick fog with less than 10m
visibility when his instruments went out.
So he began circling around looking
for landmark.
After an hour or so, he starts running
pretty low on fuel and the passengers
are getting very nervous. Finally, a
small opening in the fog appears and
he sees a tall building with one guy
working alone on the fifth floor.
The pilot banks the plane around, rolls
down the window and shouts to the guy
"Hey, where am I? To this, the solitary
office worker replies "You're in a plane."
The pilot rolls up the window, executes
a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute
a perfect blind landing on the runway
of the airport 5 miles away. Just as
the plane stops, so does the engine as
the fuel has run out.
The passengers are amazed and one asks
how he did it. "Simple" replies the pilot,
"I asked the guy in that building a
simple question. The answer he gave me
was 100 percent correct but absolutely
useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's
support office and from there the airport
is just a while away."


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Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas
pageant at their Church. At dinner that night,
they got into an argument as to who had the most
important role.
Finally, the 10-year-old said to her younger sister,
"Well you just ask Mom. She'll tell you it's much
harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel."


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During a jungle expedition, the travellers
became aware of the natives drumming.
Whey they asked their guide if this was a
cause for concern, he replied: "As long as
drums playing, no problem, but when drums
stop, something TERRIBLE about to happen!"
Suddenly, the drums stopped, and the terrified
travelers asked the guide what was about
to happen now. He sadly replied: "Bass solo
start now."


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Several men are in the locker room
of a private club after exercising.
Suddenly a cell phone on one of the
benches rings. A man picks it up and
the following conversation ensues:
"Hello?"
"Honey, It's me."
"Sugar!"
"Are you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I'm at the mall, 2 blocks
from where you are. I saw a beautiful
mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous!
Can I buy it?"
"What's the price?"
"Only $1,500."
"Well, okay, go ahead and get it, if
you like it that much."
"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the
Mercedes dealership and saw the 2002
models. I saw one I really liked. I
spoke with the salesman and he gave
me a really good price, and since we
need to exchange the BMW that we bought
last year..."
"What price did he quote you?"
"Only $60,000!"
"Okay, but for that price I want it
with all the options."
"Great! Before we hang up, something
else..."
"What?"
"It might seem like a lot, but I was
reconciling your bank account and...
well, I stopped by to see the real
estate agent this morning and I saw
the house we had looked at last year.
It's on sale! Remember? The one with
a pool, English garden, acre of park
area, beachfront property."
"How much are they asking?"
"Only $450,000, a magnificent price,
and I see that we have that much in
the bank to cover."
"Well, then go ahead and buy it, but
just bid $420,000, OK?"
"Okay, sweetie. Thanks! I'll see you
later! I love you!"
"Bye."
The man hangs up, closes the phone's
flap and asks aloud, "Does anyone know
to whom this phone belongs?"


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