Dan took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Anna?" asked Dan. "I want to get weighed," replied Anna. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Dan again asked Anna what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Dan lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," Anna responded. By this time, Dan figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?" Anna responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 119 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly, and eager to do things right. Unfortunately, he wasn't especially bright. He had just started his first job, as a delivery boy and general go-fer at a furniture warehouse. His first task was to go out for coffee. He walked into a nearby coffee shop carrying a large thermos. When the counterman finally noticed him, he held up the thermos. "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" he said. The counterman looked at the thermos, hesitated for a few seconds, then finally said, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me." "Good," Freddie said. "Give me two regular, two black, and two decaf." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 36 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Three weeks after her wedding day, Amber called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "Jese and I had a DREADFUL fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Amber. "But what am I going to do with the body?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 99 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy "Hey, where am I? To this, the solitary office worker replies "You're in a plane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple" replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just a while away." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 17 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.