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Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologise?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.


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One night, a teenage girl brought
her new boyfriend home to meet her
parents, and they were appalled
by his appearance: leather jacket,
motorcycle boots, tattoos, and
pierced nose. Later, the parents
pulled their daughter aside and
confessed their concern.
"Dear," said the mother diplomatically,
"he doesn't seem very nice."
"Mom," replied the daughter, "if
he wasn't nice, why would he be
doing 5000 hours of community service?"


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An extremely confident 8 year
old kid swaggered into the bar
and demanded of the barmaid,
"Give me a double Scotch on
the rocks."
"What do you want to do, get
me in trouble?" the barmaid asked.
"Maybe later," the kid said.
"Right now, I just want the Scotch."


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A lawyer opened the door of his BMW,
when suddenly a car came along and
hit the door, ripping it off completely.
When the police arrived at the scene,
the lawyer was complaining bitterly
about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to
my Beeeeemer!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic,
you make me sick!!!", retorted the
officer. "You're so worried about
your stupid BMW, that you didn't
even notice that your left arm was
ripped off!"
"Oh my goood," replied the lawyer,
finally noticing the bloody left
shoulder where his arm once was.
"Where's my Rolex?!"


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