The local sheriff was looking for a deputy. Paul, who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Paul, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Paul supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Paul, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Paul looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Paul wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Paul was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 143 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Teacher: "How many books have you read in your lifetime?" Pupil: "I don't know. I'm not dead yet." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 161 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A male driver gets stopped by police, and is asked: "Have you been drinking?" The man replies: "Okay, yes, I have.. how did you know officer? Was I swerving across the road, or speeding?" "No sir," replied the policeman, "nothing else can explain that fat ugly woman sitting next to you." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 150 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A young man comes into the doctors and says, "Doc, is it hereditary to lose your memory?" "No," the doctor replies, "Why?" "Well," the man says, "both of my parents are. For example, one day my mother wanted some Ice Cream, so she went out to get some. But my father stopped her, telling her that he would get some. 'Alright,' she said, 'I'll write it down'. 'no', he says, 'just tell me, I won't forget'. 'Okay', she says, 'I want some vanilla ice cream in a cone'. 'Okay', he says. He leaves, come s back half an hour later, gives his wife a bag. 'What!' she scrams. 'This is a cheeseburger, you idiot! I wanted a hamburger.'" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 111 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.