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A well known cardiologist died,
and an elaborate funeral was planned.
A huge heart covered in flowers
stood behind the casket during the
service. Following the eulogy, the
heart opened, and the casket rolled
inside. The heart then closed,
sealing the doctor in the beautiful
heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners
burst into laughter. When confronted,
he said, "I'm sorry, I was just
thinking of my own funeral, I'm a
gynecologist."


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An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man
falls in love with a young woman in her
twenties and is contemplating a proposal.
"Do you think she'd marry me if I tell
her I'm 45?" he asked a friend.
"Your chances are better," said the
friend, "if you tell her you're 90."


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Son: "I'm not going back to school tomorrow."
Father: "Why not?"
Son: "Well I've been there a whole day,
I can't read, I can't write and they won't
let me talk, so what's the use?"


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Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer
of Notre Dame, put an ad in the
papers for an assistant bell ringer.
One man applied for the job but he
had no arms. "How are you going to
assist me?" asked Quasimodo.
"That's easy!" replied the man and
he ran at the bell and banged it with
his head. BONG!!
"That's amazing!" said Quasimodo.
"Could you show me that again?"
"Sure!" said the man and he ran at the
bell again but he missed the swinging
bell and fell out of the bell tower.
A crowd huddled around the hapless man
lying in the street and a police office
asked, "Does anyone know who he is?"
Quasimodo came out and said: "I don't know
his name, but his face sure rings a bell!"


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