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"Doctor, Doctor, I can't
stop stealing things."
"Take these pills for a
week; if that doesn't
work I'll have a color TV!"


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"Doctor, doctor, I've only
got 59 seconds to live."
"Wait a minute please."


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Two psychologists meet at
their twentieth college reunion.
One of them looks like he
just graduated, while the
other psychologist looks old,
worried and withered.
The older looking one asks
the other, "What's your secret?
Listening to other people's
problems every day, all
day long, for years on end,
has made an old man of me."
The younger looking one
replies, "Who listens?"


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Q: What do you do when the dishwasher breaks down?
A: Slap the bitch and tell her to get back to work.


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