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Shakey went to a psychiatrist.
"Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.
Every time I get into bed, I
think there's somebody under it.
I get under the bed, I think
there's somebody on top of it.
Top, under, top, under. you
gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"
"Just put yourself in my hands
for two years," said the shrink.
"Come to me three times a week,
and I'll cure your fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"A hundred dollars per visit."
"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.
Six months later the doctor met
Shakey on the street. "Why didn't
you ever come to see me again?"
asked the psychiatrist.
"For a hundred buck's a visit?
A bartender cured me for ten dollars."
"Is that so! How?"
"He told me to cut the legs off
the bed!"


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Q: If you are stranded on a desert island
with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a
lawyer, and you have a gun with only two
bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.


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Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.


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A psychotherapist was having a roaring
business since he started from scratch.
So much so that he could now afford to
have a proper shop banner advertising
his wares. So he told a kid to paint
the sign board for him & put it above
his shop entrance. But, instead of his
business building up, it began to slacken.
He had especially noticed the ladies
shying away from his shop after reading
the sign board. So he decided to check
it out himself. Then he understood why!
The boy found a small wooden board so
he had split the word into the 3 words:
Psycho-
the-
rapist


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