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The psychology instructor had just finished a
lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.
Speaking specifically about manic depression,
she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who
walks back and forth screaming at the top of his
lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping
uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered,
"A basketball coach?"


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A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention.
Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together.
One said to the other three, "People are always coming
to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one
that we can go to when we have problems." The others agreed.
Then one said, "Since we are all professionals, why
don't we take some time right now to hear each other out?"
The other three agreed.
The first then confessed, "I have an uncontrollable
desire to kill my patients."
The second psychiatrist said, "I love expensive things
and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their
money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want."
The third followed with, "I'm involved with selling
drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me."
The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, "I know I'm not
supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can't keep
a secret..."


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Peter: My brother's on a seafood diet.
Brandon: Really?
Peter: Yes, the more he sees food the more he eats!


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This lady goes to the doctor for a check up.
When she gets home her husband asks, "So how
did the appointment go?"
She replies, "He said, I have the body of a
twenty year old.".
Her husband says, "Oh yeah. and what did he
have to say about your forty year old ass?"
She says, "Your name didn't come up."


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