A woman asked her friend how her weekend trip was. "I don't know; I never got there," was the response. "You never got there...what do you mean?" "Well, you know me. I have to stop at every rest area, and they all had a sign that said 'clean bathrooms.' Well, that takes longer than you'd think!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 38 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Matt's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years." "That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 36 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Two women, both smokers, were waiting at a bus stop, when all of a sudden, it started to rain. One woman pulled out a condom, snipped off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. The other one asked what it was, and the lady replied: "Oh, it's a condom. You should be able to get them at most drugstores." The woman went to a drugstore on her lunch break that day and went up to the counter to ask for a pack of condoms. The cashier asked what size she wanted, and the old woman thought for awhile, and then said: "One that will fit a Camel." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 100 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how societies ideal of beauty changes with time. "For example, he said, "take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five ft., one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she'd do in today's version of the contest?" The class fell silent for a moment. Then one student piped up, "Not very well." "Why is that?" Asked the professor. "For one thing," the student pointed out, "She'd be way too old." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 22 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.