Enter your e-mail:



A couple were at it on the sofa when the phone rang.

"Who was it?" the guy asked.

"My husband," she replied.

"I better get going then," the guy said "Where was when he phoned?"

"Relax. He's downtown playing poker with you."


Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5
5 people already rated this joke.
Send this joke to a friend
Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.




Jesus, Moses and an old man were teeing off on the 16th hole on heaven's golf course.

The 16th hole is a par 3 (short) over a lake. Moses, the first to tee off, steps up and
swings, and the ball dives right for the water.

He instantly spreads his arms, the water parts, and the ball rolls across the bottom of
the lake and up on to the green.

The others complement him on his shot, and then Jesus steps up for his turn.

Like Moses, Jesus' ball heads straight for the water, but when it gets there, it just
rolls across the surface of the lake, continuing until
it gets across and rolls up onto the green.

After showering him with complements, the old man steps up to take his shot.

His ball also dives for the lake, but bounces off the back of a turtle and
on to the far shore. There, a squirrel picks up the ball and heads
for the woods.

As the others begin to laugh, a hawk swoops down and picks up the squirrel. As the hawk
flies over the green, it squeezes the squirrel.

The ball falls out of the squirrels mouth, bounces once on the green, and then rolls into
the cup.

Jesus turns to the man and says, "Nice shot dad!"


Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5
11 people already rated this joke.
Send this joke to a friend
Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.




Mrs. Jones goes to the doctor for a full medical.

After an hour or so, the doctor looks at Mrs. Jones and says the following:

"Mrs. Jones, overall you are very healthy for a 45 year old. There is however, only one
problem. You are 40 pounds overweight and bordering on obese."

"I would strongly suggest that you diet now to save any complications in later years."

She looks sternly at him and says, "I demand a second opinion".

"OK" he says, "you're f#cking ugly as well!"


Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5
5 people already rated this joke.
Send this joke to a friend
Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.




Answers to Questions on Science Tests
By 5th and 6th graders:

The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top, and you sit on the
bottom.

A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water and then forcing it through an
aviator.

The inhabitants of Moscow are Mosquitoes.

It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in other places.

Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look like umbrellas.

The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I never have been able to
make out the numbers.

In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.

When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do
it, we say they are crazy.

One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the victim is dead.

Blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at
the bottom.

Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.

Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it
does.

There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because so many
people are stomping around there these days.

The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of
things people forget to put the top on.

You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear
it, you got hit, so never mind.


Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5
6 people already rated this joke.
Send this joke to a friend
Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.