A man who compromises when he’s wrong is wise; a man who compromises when he’s right is married. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 11 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man suspects his wife is having an affair, so he goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. Not having much money he chooses a male parrot with one leg. He takes the bird home and ties its penis to the perch in the bird cage to allow it to stand. "When I go to work you keep an eye on my wife and tell me what happens" the man told his parrot. When the man returns from work later that day, he asks the parrot if anything happened when he was out. "Well" said the parrot, "the milkman came to the door". "Then?" demanded the man. "Your wife went to the door." "Then??" "She let him in." "Then what?" "They started making out in the living room." "Then what?" cried the exasperated man. "Then I got a hard-on and fell off the perch!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 13 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Larry looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Larry asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Larry asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married'!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 9 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?" The father thought for a moment, then replied, "I don't really know, son." The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breath underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't really know, son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "Don't really know, son." Worried he was going to annoy his father, he said, "Dad, do you mind me asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son. How else are you ever going to learn anything?" replied his father. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 10 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.