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Helen Clark the New Zealand PM, was flying a hot air balloon realised she was lost. She
reduced altitude and spotted a man below.

She descended a bit more and shouted, Excuse me, can you help me?'

'I promised a friend I would meet her an hour ago, but I dont know where I am.

The man below replied, Youre in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above
the ground. Youre between 40-41 North latitude and between 59-60 West longitude.

You must be an engineer, said Helen.

I am, said the man, how did you know?

Well answered Helen, everything you told me is technicaly correct, but Ive no idea
what to make of your information, and the fact is Im still lost.

Frankly, youve not been much help at all. If anything, youve delayed my trip.

The man below responded, You must be the leader of the labour party.

I am, replied Helen, how did you know?

Well, said the man, you dont know where you are or where youre going. You have risen
to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which youve no
idea how to keep and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.

The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now,
somehow its my fault.


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Some sad news... King Fahd has died and in respect, the Saudi family lowered the flag and
raised oil prices.

-Jay Leno


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Q. What do you call a dear without any eyes?

A. No eye dear!


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For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, too much pressure from my job,
earwax buildup, poor blood, but now I found out the real reason:

I'm tired because I'm overworked.

Here's why:

The population of the USA is about 273 million.

140 million are retired.

That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces.

Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for state and city governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals,

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do all the work.

You and me, and you're sitting on your rear, at your computer, reading jokes!



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