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The future father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"

The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your
daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."



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An old snake goes to see his Doctor.

"Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very well these days."

The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

Doc says, "What's the problem? Didn't the glasses help you?"

"The glasses are fine doc, but I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the
past 2 years!"


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Dear Spike,

I have been unable to sleep since I forced my daughter to break off her engagement to you.
Will you forgive and forget?

I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo, and pierced nose. I now realize
motorcycles aren't really that dangerous, and I really should not have reacted the way I
did to the fact that you have never held a job.

I am sure, too, that some other very nice people live under the bridge in the park.

Sure, my daughter is only 17 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on a full
ride scholarship. After all, you can't learn everything about life from books. I sometimes
forget how backward I can be.

I was wrong. I was a fool. I have now come to my senses, and you have my full blessing to
marry my daughter.

Sincerely,

Your future father-in-law

P. S. Congratulations on winning the Powerball lottery!


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Little Jonny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.


Interested in what the rosy-cheeked youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you
up to there, Jonny?"

"My goldfish died," replied Jonny tearfully, without looking
up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Jonny patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your
cat!"



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