Little Johnny is in a class where every Friday the teacher asks a question and if you get it right you don't have to go to school on Monday. The first Friday the question was, "How many gallons of water is there in the whole world." No one knew so they all had to go to school on Monday. Next Friday, the question was, "How many grains of sand is there in the whole world." No one knew so they had to go to school on Monday. By this time Little Johnny is getting mad because he doesn't want to go to school on Monday. So he paints two ping-pong balls black and the next Friday right before the teacher asked the question he rolled the two blach ping-pong balls up to her. She said, "Who is the comedian with two black balls?" Little Johnny said, "Bill Cosby, see you on Tuesday." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 1 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave, how ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser". "No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them." A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi Davey," she says, "Want your usual table dance?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him. The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 16 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said,"Well, I'll just run in and out, and in and out, and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 5 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man takes his wife to the cattle stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated:"This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says,"He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him." They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated:"This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says,"This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also." They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says,"WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one." The man turns to his wife and says,"Go up and ask if it was 365 times with the same cow." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 6 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.