Enter your e-mail:



A little boy went to dine with his parents at the home of an elderly gentleman.

After watching the old man bow his head and speak in a soft voice, the boy asked his
mother, "What did Mr. Smith say to his plate?"


Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5
6 people already rated this joke.
Send this joke to a friend
Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.




There was an Amish girl that had just come of age to date.

Her mother was helping her get ready to go out that night. As she was about ready she put
on some gloves, because it was to be cold that night,and the Amish still ride in buggies.


Her mother asked, "why are you wearing gloves?" She continued by saying that it wasn't
lady like to wear gloves.

The Girl said to her mother, "its suppose to be cold tonight, what do I do with my hands
if they get cold?"

Her mother replied. "just stick your hands between your knees, and they will get warm." So
the girl agreed.

Her date picked her up and they went on their way.

On their way home her hands got cold, so following her mother's orders, she stuck her
hands between her knees.

Her date looked over and said, "what on earth do you have your hands between your legs
for?"

She replied, " my mother told me that if my hands got cold, to stick them between my legs
to get them warm."

Her date said to her, " well my dick is frozen solid do you care if I stick it between
your legs to get it warm?"

The girl said, "well I don't see any harm in it." So he did.

After returning home from her date she asked her mother," What do you know about them
there dicks?"

Her mother said, "Why what do you know about dicks?"

The girl looked at her mother and said, "All I know is that when they thaw out they make
an awful mess!"


Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5
14 people already rated this joke.
Send this joke to a friend
Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.




A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.

"Mommy," she said, "can we leave now?"

"No" her mother replied.

"Well, I think I have to throw up!"

"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a
bush."

After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her seat.

"Did you throw up?" Mom asked.

"Yes."

"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?"

"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that
says, 'For the Sick'."


Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5
6 people already rated this joke.
Send this joke to a friend
Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.




Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked
it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold, a Genie appeared. Bill was amazed and asked if he
got three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope...Due to inflation, constant downswing, low wages in third world
countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So...What'll it
be?"

Bill didn't hesitate. He said, "I want to be remembered for bringing peace to the Middle
East, instead of that other stuff with Monica, and Jennifer, and the rest of those women.
See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map of the Middle East and exclaimed, "Jeez, Fella! These people
have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good. I don't think it can
be done. Make another wish."

Bill thought for a minute and said, "You know, people really don't like my wife. Even
though she got elected, they call her a carpetbagger. They think she's mean, ugly, and
pushes me around. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and I want
everybody to like her. That's what I want."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Lemme see that map again."


Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5
5 people already rated this joke.
Send this joke to a friend
Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.