Enter your e-mail:



A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

"But officer," the man began, "I can explain".

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until
the chief gets back."

The man tried again to plead his case. "But officer, I just wanted to say . . ."

"And I said to keep quiet!" The officer said, "You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the
chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."


Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5
7 people already rated this joke.
Send this joke to a friend
Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.




The board of directors for a large company, believing it was time for a shake-up, hires a
new CEO.

This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers, so on a tour of the
facilities during his first day, the CEO notices a guy leaning casually against the wall.


The room is full of workers and he wants to let them all know he means business, and
wasting time on the clock is not acceptable.

The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"

A little surprised, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week.
Why?"

The CEO reaches into his wallet, hands the guy $1,200 in cash, and screams, "Here's four
weeks pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does
anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here aside from standing around?"

With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "That guy delivered our pizza."


Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5
16 people already rated this joke.
Send this joke to a friend
Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.




Mike's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years
younger.

After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asked,
"Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?"

Looking over her carefully, Mike replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair,
eighteen; and your figure, twenty five."

"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Mike interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet."


Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5
22 people already rated this joke.
Send this joke to a friend
Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.




A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife
complained, as usual, "I have a headache."

"Perfect," her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin.
You can take it orally or as a suppository, it's up to you!"


Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5
9 people already rated this joke.
Send this joke to a friend
Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.