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"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."

"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done"
replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious
operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be
castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."

"Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart,
down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient,
who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."

"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to
be circumcised."

Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "Shit! THAT'S the word!”


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An Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.

He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run.

So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.

The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him
unconscious.

The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.

The whole event was caught on videotape.


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A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her
taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions."

He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your
occupation?"

The woman replies, "I'm a whore."

The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass.
Let's try to rephrase that."

"Ok, I'm a prostitute."

"No, that is still too crude. Try again."

They both think for a minute, then the woman says, "I'm a chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a
prostitute?"

"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.



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A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little
confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth.

He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago,
that He grew up, etc... So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today ?"

Johnny raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."

Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." and Robert, waving his hand
furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response.

The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his
wits and asked Robert how he knew this.

Robert said, "Well.....every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and
yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"


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