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After getting all of the Pope's luggage loaded into the limo ( he doesn't travel light),
the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, your Eminence, "says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and
I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should
happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel.

The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Supreme
Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

"Please slow down, your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal
to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one
look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred
and five.

"So bust him," said the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the Pope for a limo driver!

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A little boy hears the word "whorehouse" in school and asks his father what it means.

His father is quite shocked, and replies: "Well, uh... you go there to... have a good

The boy starts screaming and hollering that he wants to go there too, but his father
insists that he's too young.

Saturday night his dad and a few friends go to "Suzie's" to "have a good time," not
knowing the little boy is following them.

After his father leaves, the little boy enters the whorehouse and tells the madame that he
too wants to have a good time. She's a bit puzzled at first, but being a kind-hearted
lady, she gives him three doughnuts and tells him to leave.

Later that night he comes home, his parents all worried.

His father approaches him first and asks him where he's been.

"IN A WHOREHOUSE!" he screams proudly.

"WHAT? Well... uh... how was it?"

"I managed the first two without any problem, but I just licked the last one."

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During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says
to her students:

"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a
dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"

Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss."

The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."

Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."

The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word "toilet" during a meal, is

And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands
with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner."

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A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom.

He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the
horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her.

Afterward, he hurried downstairs for something to eat and was startled to find breakfast
on the table and his wife pouring coffee.

"How'd you get down here so fast?" he asked. "We were just making love!"

"Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there! She came over and complained of
having a headache. I told her to lie down for awhile."

Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. "Mother, I can't believe this happened. Why
didn't you say something?"

The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for 15 years and I wasn't about
to start now!"

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