There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues: "Hello?" "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" "Yes." "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" "What's the price?" "Only $1,500.00." "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much ... " "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2006 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year ... " "What price did he quote you?" "Only $60,000 ... " "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." "Great! But before we hang up, something else ... " "What?" "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property ... " "How much are they asking?" "Only $650,000 - a magnificent price ... and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover ... " "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $620,000. OK?" "OK, sweetie ... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!" "Bye ... I do too ... " The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present, "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to? Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 5 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Three girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, "Before entering you must answer this simple question." "Which is ...?", they replied in unison. "Have you been a good girl ?", he asked the first girl. "Oh yes", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married and was still virgin even after I got married." "Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... the golden key." "Have you been a good girl?", he asked the second girl. "Oh, quite good", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married but was not after I got married." "Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... the silver key." "Have you been a good girl?", he asked the third girl. "Oh no, not at all", she said. "I practically have sex with every guy I met before and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime." "Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... my room key." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 9 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Three guys are sitting at the bar, when a stranger walked in and took a stool at the far end of the bar. The three guys were tranfixed on the stranger, who bear a striking resemblance to Jesus. For quite a while they were speculating if in fact it was the Son of God himself. Finally Joe stands up and said he would find out for sure and walked down to the end of the bar, but before he could even open his mouth, the stranger said, " you have had constant pain in your lower back for many years, and so I say unto you "Be healed". Instantly the pain left his body. He ran back to tell the others. Tom said that it was bullshit and went down to the end of the bar, but again before he could say anything, the stranger said, "since you were a child you have had an inferior left eye, Be heal and see the world the way God intended. Tom's bad eye was seeing as well as the other. Both 20/20. He came back to inform the others. Mack just set there, "well I'm not going down there - come hell or high water. Just then the stranger started walking toward Mack. Finally he was less than ten feet away from him Mack yells out, "Stay away from me you son of a bitch...I'm on Disability. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 1 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night, the drunk yuppie led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. "What's that big brass gong for?" one of the friends asked. "Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking clock," the drunk replied. "A talking clock? Seriouiouously?" (burping) "Yup." "Hmmm (hic)." "How's it work?" the second friend asked, squinting at it. "Watshhh," the yuppie replied. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear-shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment in silence. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "For f***'s sake you idiot, it's ten past three in the morning." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 28 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.