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A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I
haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed
with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to
reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who promptly shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.



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One day an employee sends a letter to his boss to increase his salary.

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding
of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to
your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Norman $oh

Scroll down.... If you are curious on what was the response!

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:

Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have
NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United
States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may
turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,

Manager



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A guy goes to see the doctor, because he's a little too well-endowed. In fact, it's 25
inches long and he can't get any women to have sex with him.

Anyway, the doctor says there's nothing he can do medically, but recommends a witch doctor
that he thinks might be able to help.

The witch doctor takes a look at the problem and tells him to go to a particular pond,
deep in the forest, and talk to a frog that lives there. "Ask the frog to marry you and
each time the frog says no, you'll be 5 inches shorter."

Worth a try, he thinks, and off he dashes into the forest. He finds the pond and sees the
frog on the other side, sitting on a log. "Frog, will you marry me?"

The frog looks at him, disinterested at best, and calls back, "No."

The guy looks down and sure enough, he's 5 inches shorter. Hey, this is great he thinks,
let's try that again. "Will you marry me?"

The frog rolls his eyes, and shouts back again, "No!"

Zappo! The guy's down to 15 inches.

Well, that's still a bit excessive, he thinks. Down another 5 would be perfect. So he
calls across again, "Frog, will you marry me?"

The irritated frog yells back, "Look, how many times do I have to tell you? No, No, NO!"



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An Irishman was drinking at the pub all night.

The bartender came up to him and told him that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood
up to leave and fell flat on his face.

He tried to stand up one more time with the same result. So he figured he'd just crawl
outside, hang out for a while, get some fresh air and hopefully that would sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell again right on his face.

So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrived at the door he tried
one more time with the same results.

Exhausted, he then gave up and started crawling to the bedroom.

When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up.

This time he managed to pull himself upright but he quickly fell right into the bed and
fell sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

The next morning, he woke up with his wife standing over him shouting at him.

"So, you've been out drinking again!!"

"What makes you say that?" He asked as he put on an innocent look.

"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."



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