A Girl was in her bed when she hears TITS AND BOOBS! TITS AND BOOBS! so she gets scared and runs into her parents room and asked to sleep with them. Then she asked what tits and boobs are. Her mom replys, "coats and hats dear." The next day they are having company over and her farther is in the bathroom shaving. He cuts himself and yells, "SHIT!!!" The girl asked "what does that mean?" and he replys, "shaving cream dear." Her mother is downstairs cooking a turkey. She burns the turkey and yells, "FUCK!!!" The girl asks her, "what does that mean?" and she says "cutting the turkey dear." Then the guests arrive and the girl goes and answers the door and says, "Hi my parents are busy rite now. You can put your tits and boobs on the coat hanger. My dads putting shit on his face and my moms fucking the turkey." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 11 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who promptly shot the turkey out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 10 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. One day an employee sends a letter to his boss to increase his salary. Dear Bo$$ In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company. I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon. Your$ $incerely, Norman $oh Scroll down.... If you are curious on what was the response! The next day, the employee received this letter of reply: Dear NOrman, I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet. NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean. Yours truly, Manager Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 23 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A guy goes to see the doctor, because he's a little too well-endowed. In fact, it's 25 inches long and he can't get any women to have sex with him. Anyway, the doctor says there's nothing he can do medically, but recommends a witch doctor that he thinks might be able to help. The witch doctor takes a look at the problem and tells him to go to a particular pond, deep in the forest, and talk to a frog that lives there. "Ask the frog to marry you and each time the frog says no, you'll be 5 inches shorter." Worth a try, he thinks, and off he dashes into the forest. He finds the pond and sees the frog on the other side, sitting on a log. "Frog, will you marry me?" The frog looks at him, disinterested at best, and calls back, "No." The guy looks down and sure enough, he's 5 inches shorter. Hey, this is great he thinks, let's try that again. "Will you marry me?" The frog rolls his eyes, and shouts back again, "No!" Zappo! The guy's down to 15 inches. Well, that's still a bit excessive, he thinks. Down another 5 would be perfect. So he calls across again, "Frog, will you marry me?" The irritated frog yells back, "Look, how many times do I have to tell you? No, No, NO!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 2 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.