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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the
bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing
black?"



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A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune teller's tent.
Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down.

"Ah..." said the woman, as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of
two children."

"That's what you think," said the man scornfully. "I'm the father of Three children."

The woman grinned and said, "That's what you think."


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Three dogs are at the vet in the waiting room.

When the first dog asks the second dog what he's in for.

He answers, "My master bought a brand new carpet the other day, and at the first
opportunity I soiled it, so now I've been brought here to be put to sleep. So what are you
here for?"

The first dog replies grimly, "I'm also being put to sleep. My master had a table with a
collection of expensive vases and while I was chasing my tail I accidently bumped into the
table and broke them all."

The two dogs then look over and ask the third dog what he's in for.

The third dog answers, "The reason I'm here is the other day my master stepped out of the
shower and she bent over. I couldn't resist, so I jumped her from behind and took her like
a wild animal!"

"So I guess you're also here to be put to sleep?" says the first dog.

The third dog answers, "Nope, I'm here to get my nails done."


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Remember, there are three religious truths:

1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian church.

3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters


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