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Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex
lives.

Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does."

Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible
shaft."

Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your
boyfriend?"

Kathy frowned and said,"The postman."

"Why the postman?" asked Joanne.

"Because, he always delivers late and half the time it's in the wrong box."


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An IRS agent stepped into a synagogue looking for the rabbi.

"Rabbi," he said when he found him," do you know a Mr. Morris Katz?"

"Well, yes, I do," said the rabbi.

"Is he a member of your congregation?" asked the agent.

"Uh, yes, he is," said the rabbi, "why do you ask?"

"I'm from the IRS. Can you tell me something? Did he make the $100,000 donation to the
synagogue, that he claimed on his tax return?" asked the IRS agent.

"I would have to check our records," replied the rabbi, "butn if he hasn't, I can assure
you that he will!"



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A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly
pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her naked.

One day, as they drove down the freeway, she remarked about his slow driving habits.

"I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For every 5 miles per hour
over the speed limit you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing.

He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took
off her blouse.
At 60 off came the pants. At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.

Now seeing her naked for the first time and travelling faster than he ever had before, he
became very excited and lost control of the car. He veered off the road, went over an
embankment and hit a tree.

His girlfriend was not hurt but he was trapped. She tried to pull him free but alas he was
stuck.

"Go to the road and get help," he said. "I don't have anything to cover myself with!" she
replied. The man felt around, but could only reach one of his shoes. "You'll have to put
this between your legs to cover it up," he told her.

So she did as he said and went up to the road for help. Along came a truck driver.

Seeing a naked, crying woman along the road, he pulled over to hear her story.

"My boyfriend! My boyfriend!" she sobs, "He's stuck and I can't pull him out!"

The truck driver looking down at the shoe between her legs replies, "Ma'am, if he's in
that far, I'm afraid he's a goner!"


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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church.

The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back
and tell him how it went.

The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was
newlywed.

Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister.

The retired couple said it was no problem at all.

The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no
problem.

The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.

"Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister.

"Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I
had to have her right there and then. Lust took over."

The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.

"That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."


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