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A local law enforcement officer stopped a car for traveling faster than the posted speed
limit.

Since he was in a good mood that day he decided to give the poor fellow a break and write
him out a warning instead of a ticket.

So, he asks the man his name." Fred" he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred" the man responds.

When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a
last name but lost it.

The officer thinks he has a nutcase on his hands but plays along with it. "Tell me Fred,
how did you lose your last name?"

The man replies... "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know,
funny last name.

The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good
grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor.

I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I
was Fred Dingaling, MD.

After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was
my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling MD
DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD.
So, I was Fred Dingaling MD DDS with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD
with VD.

Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took
away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.

Then the VD took away my dingaling so now I'm just Fred." The officer let him go without
even a warning.



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ON TURNING 70: "You still chase women, but only downhill."

ON TURNING 80: "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs
pressing."

ON TURNING 90: "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

ON TURNING 100: "I don't feel old. In fact, I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's
time for my nap."



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A young boy went to the store with his grandmother. On the way home, he looked at the
items she had purchased.

He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words "queen size."

Excited, the boy turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "Look, Grandma! You wear the
same size as your bed."


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Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex
lives.

Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does."

Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible
shaft."

Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your
boyfriend?"

Kathy frowned and said,"The postman."

"Why the postman?" asked Joanne.

"Because, he always delivers late and half the time it's in the wrong box."


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