Some sad news... King Fahd has died and in respect, the Saudi family lowered the flag and raised oil prices. -Jay Leno Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 97 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q. What do you call a dear without any eyes? A. No eye dear! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 102 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, too much pressure from my job, earwax buildup, poor blood, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. Here's why: The population of the USA is about 273 million. 140 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 19 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the armed forces. Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work. Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for state and city governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do all the work. You and me, and you're sitting on your rear, at your computer, reading jokes! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 11 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Things to say to telemarketers The police photographer is still here, and the county medical examiner hasn't released the body to the coroner yet. Can you call back a little later? What's that you say? Speak up, please, will you? The battery has run down on my hearing aid. Louder, please, louder. Is that the best you can do? I'm afraid we're just not communicating. I'm gonna have to put you on hold. The baby is due any minute now. Quick someone, get some hot water. Lots of it. Sorry, gotta hurry now, don't go away. Oh, it's you again. I was hoping you'd call back. The better business people said I need more positive identification to file my complaint. Now first let me have your name and telephone number... Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 21 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.