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The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural history lesson. "Worker
ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you
conclude from that?"

One child was ready with the answer: "They don't have a union."


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A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me!
Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car.

The other night I dreamed I was a Ferrari. Another night I dreamed I was a BMW. Last night
I dreamed I was a Porsche. What does this mean?"

"Relax", says the doctor, "You're just having an auto-body experience."


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A father had three very active boys.

One summer evening, he was playing cops and robbers in the back yard after dinner.

One of the boys "shot" his father and yelled, "Bang! You're dead!"

He slumped to the ground and when he didn't get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see
if he had been hurt in the fall.

When the neighbor bent over, the overworked father opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't
give me away. It's the only chance I've had to rest all day."


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A man was driving his four year old son home from day care one day, when seemingly out of
the blue, he asked "Daddy, is my voice going to change one day?

"Yes, it is" was the reply.

"Why?" he immediately wanted to know.

While the father was pondering exactly how much of the tale he needed to explain at his
tender age, the little boy very excitedly exclaimed:

"Well, when my voice changes, I'm going to speak Spanish!"


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