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A man walked into the office of the eminent
psychiatrist Dr. Von Bernuth, and sat down
to explain his problem. "Doctor, doctor!" he started.
"No need to repeat yourself, my good man,"
replied the doctor. "One 'doctor' is enough."
"Yes, well, you see, I've got this problem,"
the man continued. "I keep hallucinating that
I'm a dog. A large, white, hairy Pyrenees
mountain dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!"
"A common canine complex," said the doctor
soothingly. "Come over here and lie down on
the couch." "Oh no, Doctor. I'm not allowed
up on the furniture."


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A burglar breaks into a house.
He sees a CD player that he wants
so he takes it. Then he hears a
voice "JESUS is watching you".
He looks around with his flashlight
wandering "What The HELL Was That?".
He spots some $ on a table and
takes it......Once again he hears
a voice " JESUS is watching you".
He hides in a corner trying to find
where the voice came from. He spots
a birdcage with a parrot in it!
He goes over and asks " Was that
your voice?". It said "YES".
He then says "What's your name?".
It says "MOSES".
The burglar says "What kind of person
names his bird moses?"
The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON
THAT NAMES HIS ROTWEILER "JESUS".


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Q: Why did the chicken run onto
the football field?
A: Because the umpire called a foul.


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One villager said: It is so cold in our
village that we have to put on 3 sweaters.
Other villager said: It is so cold in our
village that we have to put on 4 sweaters.
The third villager said: It is so cold in
our village that the cow gives ice-cream
instead of milk.


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