A guy (we'll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet in some woman's home. As he was finishing, he got a craving for a cigarette. Aaron looked around and discovered that his cigarettes were missing. He did, however, notice a bump in the carpet, and figured that he had laid carpet over the pack without noticing it there. Aaron decided rather than to take up the carpet, he would get a hammer and pound it into the ground so no one would know. When he finished that, the owner of the house walked into the room and commented on what a nice job he had done. ''Aaron, The carpet lookes wonderful!'' she exclaimed. ''Here are your cigarettes; I found them in the kitchen. Oh yes, and by the way, have you seen my gerbil?'' Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 41 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q: What weighs 2,000 pounds and pinches? A: An elephant wearing a tight tuxedo! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 100 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouted out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 35 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q: Why did the ram fall off the cliff? A: Because he didn't see the ewe turn. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 117 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.