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A guy (we'll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet in some woman's home. As he was
finishing, he got a craving for a cigarette. Aaron looked around and discovered that his
cigarettes were missing. He did, however, notice a bump in the carpet, and figured that he
had laid carpet over the pack without noticing it there. Aaron decided rather than to take
up the carpet, he would get a hammer and pound it into the ground so no one would know.
When he finished that, the owner of the house walked into the room and commented on what a
nice job he had done.

''Aaron, The carpet lookes wonderful!'' she exclaimed. ''Here are your cigarettes; I found
them in the kitchen. Oh yes, and by the way, have you seen my gerbil?''



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Q: What weighs 2,000 pounds and pinches?
A: An elephant wearing a tight tuxedo!



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A young blonde was on vacation in the
depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair
of genuine alligator shoes in the worst
way, but was very reluctant to pay the
high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the
"no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers,
the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go
out and catch my own alligator so I can
get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be
my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch
yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed
for the swamps, set on catching herself
an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving
home, when he spotted the young woman
standing waist deep in the water, shotgun
in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot
alligator swimming quickly toward her.
She took aim, killed the creature, and with
a great deal of effort hauled it on to
the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the
dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched
in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped
the alligator on its back, and frustrated,
shouted out, "Damn it, this one isn't
wearing any shoes either!"


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Q: Why did the ram fall off the cliff?
A: Because he didn't see the ewe turn.



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