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A dog walks into a bar. He hops up on a bar
stool and puts his front paws on the bar.
He looks the bartender right in the eye and
says, "Hey, guess what? I'm a talking dog.
Have you ever seen a talking dog before?
How about a drink for the talking dog?"
The bartender thinks for a moment and says,
"Alright. The toilet's right around the corner."


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The sky was dark
The moon was high
We were alone
Just she and I
Her hair was brown
Her eyes were too
I knew just what
She wanted to do
So with my courage
I did my best
And placed my hand
Upon her breast
I trembled and shook
And felt her heart
Slowly she spread
Her legs apart
I knew she was ready
But I didn't know how
It was my first try
At milking a cow


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Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in
the same forest, but they didn't
like each other very much.
One day, while walking through
the woods, and they came across
a golden frog.
They were amazed when the frog
talked to them. The golden frog
admitted that he didn't often
meet anyone, but, when he did,
he always gave them six wishes,
so he told them that they could
have three wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that
all the other bears in the forest
were females.
The frog granted his wish. Mr.
Rabbit, after thinking for a while,
wished for a crash helmet.
One appeared immediately, and he
placed it on his head.
Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr.
Rabbit's wish, but carried on
with his second wish.
He wished that all the bears in
the neighboring forests were
females as well, and the frog
granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit
then wished for a motorcycle.
It appeared before him, and he
climbed on board and started
revving the engine.
Mr. Bear could not believe it
and complained that Mr. Rabbit
had wasted two wishes that he
could have had for himself.
Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made
his final wish, that all the
other bears in the world were
females as well, leaving him
as the only male bear in the world.
The frog replied that it had
been done, and they both turned
to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.
Mr. Rabbit revved the engine,
thought for a second, then said,
“I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!”
and rode off as fast as he could.



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There was this American tourist in Mexico,
and he was getting tired of walking around,
so he went up to a donkey rental place and
said, "Can I rent a donkey?"
The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys
here, we call them asses. This is the only
ass I have left, and you have to scratch
him when you want to make him stop."
The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a
hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog.
The vendor replies, "We don't call them
hotdogs here we call the wieners."
Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away,
so he goes up to another tourist and says:
"Will you hold my wiener whille I scratch my ass?"



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