There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, "Can I rent a donkey?" The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses. This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop." The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog. The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners." Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says: "Will you hold my wiener whille I scratch my ass?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 679 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q: What do a blonde and a turtle have in common? A: They're both screwed on their back. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 113 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Animals in the Fridge! 1)How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? You open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. 2)How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? You open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3)The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend? The elephant, offcourse , The elephant is in the refrigerator. 4)There is a river you must cross. But it is filled with crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across -- all the crocodiles are attending. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 422 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions: what were the symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc.. Suddenly, she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet - I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking." She smugly added, "Why can't you?" The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put to sleep." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 695 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.