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There was this American tourist in Mexico,
and he was getting tired of walking around,
so he went up to a donkey rental place and
said, "Can I rent a donkey?"
The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys
here, we call them asses. This is the only
ass I have left, and you have to scratch
him when you want to make him stop."
The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a
hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog.
The vendor replies, "We don't call them
hotdogs here we call the wieners."
Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away,
so he goes up to another tourist and says:
"Will you hold my wiener whille I scratch my ass?"



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Q: What do a blonde and a turtle have in common?
A: They're both screwed on their back.



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Animals in the Fridge!
1)How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe
and close the door.
2)How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe,
put in the elephant and close the door.
3)The Lion King is hosting an animal conference,
all the animals attend, except one. Which animal
does not attend?
The elephant, offcourse , The elephant is in the
refrigerator.
4)There is a river you must cross. But it is
filled with crocodiles.
How do you manage it?
You swim across -- all the crocodiles are attending.



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A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor.
The doctor asked her all the usual questions:
what were the symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc..
Suddenly, she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet - I don't
need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's
wrong just by looking."
She smugly added, "Why can't you?"
The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down, quickly
wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and said, "There you are.
Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put to
sleep."



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