Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 92 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q: How do you tell the Polish one at a cockfight? A: He's the one with the duck. Q: How do you tell the Italian? A: He's the one betting on the duck. Q: How do you tell if the mafia is there? A: The duck wins! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 51 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "Help Wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said,"I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said "yes, but the sign “also” says that you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow". A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "Help Wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said "yes, but the sign “also” says that you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow". A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "Help Wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said,"I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said "yes, but the sign “also” says that you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow". Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 586 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A guy is having marital problems. He and the wife are not communicating at all and he's lonesome, so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help. The store he happened into specialized in parrots. As he wanders down the rows of parrots he notices one with no feet. Surprised he mutters, "I wonder how he hangs onto the perch?" The parrot says, "With my prick, you dummy." The guy is startled and says, "You certainly talk well for a parrot." The parrot says, "Of course, I'm a very well educated parrot. I can discuss politics, sports, religion, most any subject you wish." The guy says ,"Gee, you sound like just what I was looking for." The parrot says, "There's not much of a market for maimed parrots. If you offer the proprietor $20 for me, I'll bet he'll sell me." The guy buys the parrot and for three months things go great. When he comes home from work the parrot tells him Clinton said this, the A's won and so on. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot waves a wing at him and says, "Come in and shut the door." The guy says, "What's up?" The parrot says, "I don't know how to tell you this, but the mailman came today. Your wife answered the door in her negligee and he kissed her right on the lips." The guy says, "Oh, A momentary flight of passion." The parrot says, "Well, maybe, but then he fondled her breasts." The guy says, "He did??" The parrot says, "Yes. Then he pulled her negligee down and started sucking on her breasts." The guy says, "My God, what happened next?!?" The parrot says, "I don't know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 39 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.